For Your Own Good:Korean Mothers' Attitudes Towards Disciplining Their Children

너 잘되라고 때리지 미워서 때리냐?

Researchers examined elementary school children's experiences and the way that their mothers scolded them. In their writings, the children reported that their mothers under-estimated them, and assumed that they were not able to do anything by themselves. This reflected on the way that the mothers disciplined their children. The mothers were not a good model of proper behavior and did not treat the siblings fairly. The mothers were directive and valued results over effort. The children confessed that they felt suicidal, miserable and wanted to run away from home. They had a love-hate relationship with their mothers. They had to hide their real feelings and show love and respect towards their mothers. They had conflicts in dealing with these feelings. Their inability to show their real feelings and their dependency on their mothers made them return home, much like a boomerang. As a result, the children learned how to respond quickly in avoiding scolding situations. Furthermore, they learned the most important lesson; that it is all right to be abusive as long as it is for their or anybody else's own good.